Helping Discharge Happen

(Note: You can read this Section sequentially by scrolling through it as usual. Alternatively, click on a sub-section to jump ahead within the Section.)

Helping Discharge Happen: Focusing on Specifics
Helping Discharge Happen: Going with Negative Feelings
Helping Discharge Happen: Going Against Negative Feelings
Helping Discharge Happen: Exploring Pattern Connections

The order in which the techniques are described is one in which they may well be used by inexperienced co-counsellors. This order goes from exploring a particular event, endeavouring to discharge any distress it brings up, to exploring a related series of distressing events. A product of exploring a related series of events is often to identify the Pattern(s) present in them all. Once identified, Patterns may be worked on directly, with the bonus that when the Pattern has been disrupted, it is equivalent to discharging the Distress in many events. Once techniques have been learned the order of use is flexible, and techniques are selected as appropriate. Hence from the viewpoint of the experienced counsellor this present order is arbitrary.

The 'Helping Discharge Happen' techniques encourage one or both of the following:

1. The re-experiencing of distressing memories and the feelings associated with them. This is done by encouraging recall of specific events.

2. The experiencing of dischargeable feelings, even if this was not what was experienced at the time the events took place. This is done by increasing the person's state of bodily arousal, which will often result in transmuting the original feeling into one that can be discharged.

Helping Discharge Happen: Focusing on Specifics

A) FOCUS ON A SPECIFIC EVENT rather than talking about a distress area in general. E.g. suppose I find it hard to make friends. To get in touch with the distresses that stop me, it will help if I choose a specific event to talk through. This could be the latest occasion when I was upset about not being able to make friends; or a remembered occasion which was traumatic, whether recent or not.

B) TALK THROUGH THE EVENT USING THE PRESENT TENSE. The re-experiencing is likely to be more intense if you are re-enacting the scene in the present, rather than telling it as a past story.

C) USE CONCRETE LITERAL DESCRIPTION OF THE SCENES AND ACTIONS that are happening. Evoking the colours, textures, smells and movements that actually happened will act to intensify the re-experiencing. All these suggestions are in contrast to 'talking about' distress, using the past tense, searching for reasons or interpretations of your behaviour and feelings. Note that talking through past events in a focused way often provides some Discharge without anything dramatic happening. If other forms of discharge do occur during the talking through, encourage them.

D) FINISH WITH 'WHAT'S LEFT UNSAID.' At the end of talking through an event (if you haven't done it before) think of what you would really like to say to the person or persons involved in the upsetting incident. This may be something you thought of but couldn't say at the time, or you may be formulating it now for the first time. Express the thoughts in the present tense as though the person were physically present, using a loud voice and adding any appropriate actions. The aim is to use uncensored thoughts, as you are not trying to rehearse what you might say next time you you see the person. Repeat the 'What's Left Unsaid' phrase several times as energetically as you can. This may result in more Discharge. The importance of "What's Left Unsaid" is that it constitutes a change from what actually occurred in the past event, in a self-affirming direction. From this point of view it is also part of the Target Practice set of techniques. It is mentioned now because we regard it as important always to use some change techniques, even as a beginner.

We emphasize again the immediate purpose of 'What's Left Unsaid': not to rehearse what you might say in the future, but to Discharge the distressed feelings. After that you can then decide rationally how to tackle the real life situation if it is still relevant in your life.

Helping Discharge Happen: Going with Negative Feelings.

These techniques act to intensify negative feelings in two ways--by concentrating on those parts of the experience most closely associated with the feelings, and also by increasing the level of bodily arousal of the client. (Increasing the level of arousal helps transmute feelings into those which can be discharged.)

E) REPETITION OF DISTRESS SIGNALS. Distress signals are many and varied, and differ from one person to another. In addition to things the client recognizes as containing Distress, the following suggestions are worth exploring as signals of Distress: words which are stumbled over or are difficult to say; negative evaluations of self or others; words where the voice has become squeaky with tension; non-verbal tension--gestures such as scratching, fist clenching, etc.

F) INCREASING THE LOUDNESS OF THE VOICE. This may be a general suggestion, applicable to everything the client is saying, or specific in terms of distress signals the client is repeating.

G) INVOLVING THE BODY IN POSTURES AND GESTURES appropriate to the actions and feelings being described. Doing this will help the person get in touch with the Distress, as feelings are bodily states.( One way we suppress awareness of our feelings is by tensing up our bodies so as to prevent feelings being expressed.) Note that, like repeating something louder, bodily involvement is worth doing energetically.

H) ACTING INTO DISCHARGE. This technique is often simply called Acting Into. However it can be confused with Role-playing, so adding on the Discharge portion of its label is useful. The technique is applicable when Distress is half felt or suspected as a particular negative feeling. The technique consists of going through the physical actions normally associated with discharging a particular Distress, e.g. hitting something for anger, shaking for fear. This often releases real Discharge. The Discharge released will not necessarily be the same as the acted feeling. Some detailed suggestions for Acting Into are given in Part IV.

I) ROLE-PLAY. This is directly acting yourself, or a sub personality of yourself, or an image of yourself in an earlier event. Use the present tense and talk directly to the other people in the scene. Use your counsellor as the person, or persons, you are talking to, and tell them how to respond to you. There is no hard and fast distinction between Role-play and talking through an event involving yourself bodily. Suggestions for useful types of role-play are given in Part IV).

Helping Discharge Happen: Going Against Negative Feelings.

These techniques also act to focus attention on and intensify negative feelings. All these techniques share an element of contradicting Distress in some way. They are often more powerful than Going With techniques, particularly in well worn areas of Distress. Perhaps this is because they inevitably involve a Balance of Attention. Thus attention is inevitably focused both on the Distress and on the contradiction. The aim of all these techniques is Discharge.

Once a Going Against technique has been used, then it can be intensified by using the Going With techniques: repetition, involving the body etc. The point is that putting energy into doing them will help bring Discharge. You are not attempting to convince yourself that what you are saying is true!

J) CONTRADICTIONS. Directly saying and doing those things which will contradict Distress and Patterns. Put attention and bodily energy into saying words and doing the actions which contradict Distress, in order to release discharge. E.g. say the opposite of any negative put-downs of yourself. You do not have to believe in a contradiction, but you are aiming to act as though you believed it. This will be very hard to carry out at times, and you may need to work up from contradicting the Pattern content in a soft voice, to shouting it with full actions. Contradict body postures as well as the distressing words; stand up straight and hold your head up; lift your arms outwards and upwards instead of at sides; unclench your hands.

K) CELEBRATING DISTRESSES. Boasting about how guilty you are or how good you are at kicking people. Attempting a celebratory phrase concerning someone you are distressed about, which is the opposite of the distressed thoughts. E.g. if someone has been tactless and cruel, try saying, "You are the most sensitive and kind man I know".

L) PHYSICAL RELAXATION: GOING AGAINST CHRONIC MUSCULAR TENSIONS. All discharge processes involve a loosening and relaxation of body musculature, and in some circumstances relaxation can set off Discharge. Possible reasons are: A gentle caring massage, or relaxation into the counsellor's arms, by providing extra safety, may result in a Balance of Attention which was not there before. Secondly, chronic muscular tensions may be part of a Control Pattern, or a dramatization Pattern. Hence some form of relaxation before or during the exploration of the Distress may act to interrupt the Patterns and allow Discharge to start.

M) PHYSICAL AROUSAL: GOING AGAINST PARALYSIS, shut down, sag. Any form of arousing physical activity is likely to take the person into a different feelings space. Try jumping up and down or running round the room. If the arousal is closely associated with pain, as in bioenergetics exercises, or with verbalizing about a Distress area, then the feelings space is likely to be negative and the probability of Discharge will be high. On the other hand, if the arousal has no distress associations, the result may be that a positive feelings space is entered.

N) DIRECTIONS. A 'Direction' is a statement (a word, gesture or expression) which releases Discharge, especially on an ingrained Pattern. To 'Hold a Direction' is to work as client, by repeating the direction, to maintain a flow of Discharge. It is necessary to put energy into the repetitions, and to work at removing verbal or non-verbal qualifications. The client allows time for the Discharge to occur between repetitions. Direction holding sessions are often held in groups, with the time available shared out. Each person will use their time to keep holding a direction and discharging on it. The remainder of the group will give Free Attention.

Directions are often contradictions, but not necessarily so; they may be exaggerations or parodies of the distress. Some directions affect most people: "Good-bye. I have no regrets," or "You really love me," or any form of total self-appreciation. However many directions are very individual, and the client has to explore which words and/or gestures are most powerful for them. Words which produce a smile or laugh when you hear them or think them, or which horrify you at the thought of saying them, are highly likely to produce discharge.

There are some general points to note about Directions. Short and pithy directions tend to work better than long winded ones. Formulating a Direction as a positive statement is often more effective than a negative form. E.g. try saying "I'm very brave," rather than "I'm not afraid." When you find a powerful direction, write it down, as they are easily forgotten. Once discovered, directions can be used to disrupt patterns in our lives. This takes us into the area of target practice techniques, dealt with in the next section.

Helping Discharge Happen: Exploring Pattern Connections

The techniques listed previously were set in a framework of counselling on one event. Such techniques remain as core aids. However the aim of spending more time in our Person and less in our Patterns is assisted by identifying, and working directly on, such Patterns. Patterns usually derive from, and are active in, many incidents. Identifying a Pattern enables a person to work with it directly, thus saving time relative to working on all the events separately. As clients people will spontaneously find some of the links which allow them to recognize their Patterns. The techniques in this section all act to encourage this generalisation process.

O) SCANNING: Reviewing your past experiences in order to discharge the distress, identifying and working on any Patterns in order to get rid of restimulation and making the information contained available for use.

Some kind of a theme is selected. It may be time related as in scanning "Minor upsets of the past week," or event related as in "Changing jobs," or feelings related as in "Times I've been bored." The jump from one theme experience to another may be made randomly according to what comes to mind, or in a time sequence. For any substantial piece of scanning the recommendation of experienced co-counsellors is that the person starts with their earliest memory and proceeds forward in time to the present. This reduces the chances of the person getting deeply involved in early distresses before being ready to deal with them.

P) FOLLOWING ASSOCIATIONS: Noticing and mentioning the associations that pass through your mind when you are client is usually worthwhile; they may be reminders of events that are similar in some way, of people, or of images. Once noted, you can decide whether to follow such associations or not. Associations representing earlier and more powerful experiences or people in your life are usually worth following immediately. When acting as counsellor this type of association can be picked up by asking the client, "What's the thought?" after they have been quiet for a while or if you notice a sudden change in their facial expression. As counsellor you may also ask, "What does this event remind you of?"

Q) EARLIEST OR STRONGEST MEMORY ASSOCIATIONS: This is when there is a deliberate attempt to move the client to events likely to have formed the original basis of a Pattern. The move may be initiated by the client or suggested by the counsellor. This type of suggestion is likely to be particularly relevant if client is working on recent material in which the people involved are authority figures. Some examples of what the counsellor might say: "Who does this person remind you of?" "Who are you really saying that to?" "Try saying that to your father/mother." "What's your earliest memory of a situation like this?"

R) FOLLOWING SIGNPOSTS: This technique consists of making repeated responses to cue phrases. The client may keep returning to the cue phrase, or may ask their counsellor to keep prompting them. The client is seeking to respond with their first thoughts. Examples of cue phrases: "And then what?" "If I do X you will ..."--where X is something you want to do and can't. "What are you doing in America, Richard?" "I can't because ...."

S) EXPLORATIONS OF FANTASIES, IMAGES AND SYMBOLS: There are many activities which fall in this area. Some people find it easier to think in terms of images rather than words, and most people can benefit from encouraging images which can be turned into words at some point. Rose has used an image of her guilt feelings as a black monster attached to her leg by a chain, which she is managing to starve slowly. Some other examples we have personally found useful:

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