Chronic distress patterns are those which continually dominate our feelings and behaviour. They have been restimulated past a critical point so that they play the record all the time. They are so much a part of us that if we are aware of them we tend to label them as part of our personality. Richard has a Chronic Pattern which is, "I've got to get it right or you won't love me." He has been discharging on this for some time, but still notices it popping up--in teaching a class, in writing a research paper, making love, digging the allotment. Rose has one which says, "I'm always being judged and found wanting." At the bottom Chronic Patterns all seem to be variants on the individual not being acceptable or worthwhile as they are; "I'm not O.K." This is the basic point to remember in trying to deal with them.
Chronic patterns are very difficult to work on. If you want to work on a Chronic Pattern, the basic suggestion is to ask your counsellor for an intensive contract. The most effective technique appears to be Direction Holding. It will help if you inform your counsellor about the Pattern you want to work on, and the Directions you have found useful. The most effective Directions appear to be those where you express complete appreciation of yourself, without any reservations. The 'without any reservations' is the hard piece, but the most useful piece. It needs to be applied in word, tone, facial expression and posture (no sitting down for this).
When working on Chronic Patterns in this way most people will find two types of hazards. Firstly, the Chronic Pattern under attack will often be routed during a counselling session, only to appear full-blown as soon as the session is over. This leads to helplessness, and to depending on counsellors to tackle the Pattern. This dependency problem can be resolved by the client persisting in thinking of self-appreciative Directions 'without any reservations,' combined with applying such Directions both in and out of counselling sessions. Applying such Directions outside counselling sessions is another example of 'Holding a Direction in life.' Anything which detracts or gets in the way should be labelled a reservation to be fought, regardless of how reasonable it appears to the client. Fighting reservations is a useful way to think about the process, since it is so easy to accept them as rational.
Secondly, the use of self-appreciation techniques against Chronic Patterns has the effect of bringing self-doubt and self-criticism vividly to mind. These self put-downs appear to the client to be eminently reasonable, and hence the self-appreciation gets to look increasingly ridiculous. To counteract this effect, it is helpful to voice all negative or interfering thoughts out loud, as soon as you experience them. The next step is to formulate a Contradiction, and to say this loudly and confidently several times. Such negative thoughts are often accompanied by a sagging or closed up body posture and this should be contradicted at the same time. Thus, the client could be saying, "I'm stuck," or "I can't do it," when trying to say a different Direction. Such comments should be taken as the Distress to be worked on, since they are the Distress that is occupying the client's attention.
Counsellors can help by encouraging clients to be persistent and to return again and again to the Directions which produce Discharge. It is worth noting that when a counsellor suggests a Direction which hits home the client will usually laugh or collapse into Discharge; minimally an amused or horrified snort is likely. If the client takes the suggestion and modifies it slightly such that it no longer produces Discharge, the client is probably dodging. Suggesting a return to the original Direction is likely to produce results.
Counsellors should also watch out for the client getting distressed and losing their Balance of Attention. A helpful way to counteract a client's tendency to get sunk in Distress is to suggest a lighter Direction to the client--a parody or one with a humorous twist. Another possibility is for the client to add "Yippee" or similar words onto the end of a heavy Direction. Some Attention Switching can also be suggested.
If the client gets stuck and is silent, the counsellor can ask, "What's the thought?" in order to get the 'on top' Distress verbalized. The verbalizations can then be worked with. If silence persists the counsellor can try validating the client, persisting gently but firmly, even if the client rejects it.
Most Chronic Patterns come out of childhood experiences, maybe some from birth experiences; so the position of the person in the grip of the Pattern is usually that of themselves as child. Hence it is often useful to encourage the client to say the Direction to their Mother or Father (as appropriate); adding their childhood name for the parent on to the end of it. E.g. "I'm all right as I am, Mummy."
Towards the end of a session working against a Chronic Pattern it is useful, as part of the process of separating past and present Distress, to distinguish between the past distressed child and the present skilled person. Helpful statements include: "I'm no longer the child who needs love," "I'm no longer the child who fears my father." A general theme is, "I'm no longer the helpless victim of that child's Distress; I have many more skills and I can change." Some people also find the image of themselves as an adult, being able to care for and comfort the needy child within them, is a useful one.
Separation statements and Directions can be followed by celebrations of the present you. Celebrate the ways you are working to help yourself. Even after a session in which you do not seem to have got very far, you can celebrate the fact you are working. Search for a positive Direction against the Distress or Pattern you have been working on to use in your life circumstances. Any Direction you have been discharging on within a co-counselling session can be used against Restimulation in the rest of your life. I.e. you can use such Directions as Ladders out of distress.
We suggest that you always set time aside towards the end of a Direction holding session to plan how to interrupt and counteract the Patterns in your life. One possibility is to display Directions on your walls, or in places where you will find them when starting on tasks you expect to be restimulating. Effective Directions discovered in sessions are best written down, as they are easily forgotten. Enlist the help of your counsellor and of other co-counsellors in your living circles if you can; mutual reminders and validations can be powerful.
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