The Co-counselling Working Relationship

The co-counselling strategies have wide applications. They can form the basis of expert counselling or psychotherapy (The main techniques were first worked out in just such a context.) They also form a sound basis for how to deal with feelings and patterns in all aspects of life. (This last requires ingenuity to make them acceptable in our repressive culture.) Within the context we are considering in this manual they are primarily used within a peer relationship.

The co-counselling relationship is reciprocal and one-to-one. It isn't the same as a social relationship, or the same as in other personal development methods such as "Encounter" or "Gestalt." Two people make a contract to help each other on the basis of behaving to each other as peers and offering support during the counselling time. The contract consists of the following agreements:

to share the available time equally between the people.
to offer nothing that is an evaluation, interpretation or piece of advice.
to use techniques known to both, recognizably within co-counselling.
each individual takes responsibility for their own work, while giving support for their partner when it is their partner's turn.
that the content of the sessions is confidential and not to be brought up outside of the sessions, even with the co-counselling partner.

A life situation the person wants to change.

(When told, "Carry this," what happens is that she says, "Of course." What she wants to happen is: "Carry this." "No.")

Someone is telling Jill, Carry this! She is replying, Of course, when she really wants to say, No.

Jill is always being asked to do things for people and finds
she cannot say "no" even when she has not got the time.

How she might use the strategies in a co-counselling session

Picture of person sitting with counsellor. Attention Switching and Celebration and presence of counsellor help keep present safety in mind.

1. Balance of Attention

Attention switching and Celebration

and presence of counsellor help keep present safety in mind.

2. Discharging the feelings

Re-experiencing of stuck situation and

the fear that leads to saying "Of course."

Picture of person standing, smiling, radiating energy.

3. Positive mood, alert mind, choice

Picture of person imagining saying 'No.'

4. Target practice

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